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Hawthorn's ultimate survivor  October 10, 2017 4:25 PM

If our Hawks were on Survivor, who would come out on top?

If our Hawks were on Survivor, who would come out on top?

With little trade news to keep ourselves occupied this week, we’ve had to resort to other measures. 

A program that has caught the attention of the nation over the past few months is Australian Survivor. A group of individuals travel to an isolated location, where they have to outwit, outplay and outlast their competitors as they vie for ultimate success. Not too dissimilar to an AFL season, when you strip it all back.

Tonight, the final three Survivor contestants will battle it out to win $500,000 in prize money.

So, while things are sleepy here at Hawthorn HQ, we thought we’d make our own fun; if Hawthorn players were contestants on survivor – who would they be?


The one who wins all the challenges:

The man who can do it all; Shaun Burgoyne. 

Chuck him in the backline, up forward, breaking lines on the wing or busting through the midfield, there’s nothing our man Silk can’t do.

Whether it be an endurance, strength and concentration challenge, we’re quietly (100 per cent) confident that Burgoyne would come out on top.


The one who flies under the radar: 

Ben McEvoy: the work horse. He may not get all the glory, but Big Boy works his magic from the inside each time he steps on the field. He’s the one quietly calling the shots, choosing the direction with a subtle tap, and working the ball to Hawthorn’s advantage.

In Survivor terms, he’s laying the ground work for a big, bold move, and allowing his allies to stand in the limelight. 

Now that’s what you call smart game play.


The one who’s all about strategizing: 

Few do strategizing like our Hodgey. The leader of the tribe; whether he’s barking orders on the field, nurturing the youngsters, or devising his own game plan, Hodge is always creating clever and unique methods to get a leg up on the competition. 

After 16 years in the game, Hodgey sure knows what it takes to survive in a cut-throat landscape. 

And when all seems said and done, he’s not opposed to a cheeky blindside.


The one who is everybody’s best friend:

The class clown. The comic relief. The one everybody wants to room with on travels (or who everyone chooses to share their challenge prize).

Look, we can’t imagine James Frawley being the best ‘strategizer’, nor can we imagine him acing any puzzle challenges, but he’s definitely worth keeping around for the laughs (and ratings).

Oh, and he knows how to silence a dangerous competitor when necessary.


The fan favourite:

Cyril Rioli. Cheeky, lovable, and freakishly talented when it comes to any on-field challenge. In our fans’ eyes, the little master can do no wrong.

If Hawthorn Survivor were a public vote, we all know who would come out on top.


The winner: 

Aside from the fact that less is more, Survivor votes aren’t too dissimilar to best and fairest votes. 

For that reason, it’s no question who would be crowned Hawthorn’s ultimate survivor.

Tom Mitchell has played a genius game; he flew under the radar in the early days, doing just enough to capture the attention of other parties and allow him to deflect to a new alliance. Since then, it’s been bold move after bold move, as the 24-year-old came from nowhere to become one of the game’s fiercest competitors.

He's leaving the competition in his wake, and he's not done yet.